Helpless-1

Have you ever felt helpless? Totally helpless? If so, take that and add on the feeling of being overwhelmed with a little dash of disappointing those who are counting on you. Thats the feeling I had in Limon, Honduras last week. After rolling in with plans, materials and muscle like so many times before, I thought I was ready for what God had to show me. I wasn't. I have been leaving myself open to him, to see what he wanted me to see. To feel what he wanted me to feel. Until I rode into Limon I thought I was doing well. I wasn't. Everything I've been through up till now was to prepare me for this. I wasn't. When I walked into the orphanage with my friends in tow to look over some "minor" repairs we were met by the children. Sweet little Karolina, Manor, Bessie, Oscar, Katia and others. They hugged us and pulled on us, they were happy and wanting to play. I wanted to knock out this inspection so we could kick the ball around and love on these kids, but it would not be. As I made my way through the outside kitchen area and into the big room the smell of mold and mildew knocked me back. The inside kitchen and pantry was full of damp boxes and mold. The land lord was letting the roof fall in. I made my way to the old hotel area where the older girls stayed, the smell was so strong my friend Aaron had the other stay back so not to breath in the rancid air. The land lord had removed the roof and allowed rain to soak every thing. The kids were forced into the lower rooms in the orphanage. Once they were gone he started to renovate the building , but not for them. I made my was to the other rooms in the orphanage building. The boys room, 15 x 15, few windows, housing 12 boys and the mildewed remains of what the were trying to salvage from the hotel. The only toilet was broken and overflowing. The smell of urine and facial material was masked by the mold. Into the girls rooms, two 15 x 15 rooms adjoined that slept 33 kids a the cook. 1 baby boy, Christian, maybe 9 months old. The smaller kids were two to a bed. Mold was everywhere. The toilet was barely working. The outside toilet was broken as well. One of the girls was covered from head to toe with at least three kinds of rash, fungal, allergic hives, and something else. The week before we came 12 kids were taken to the doctor for respiratory issues. I asked where the older kids were, they told me that they had to send them back to their homes and villages because they had no room. I couldn't process that, they were at the orphanage for a reason and it wasn't a good one. Why oh Lord have you put this in my path. I can handle most things but this is to much. With every child I held, hugged and looked at I saw my own child. I wanted to grab them up and run as hard and as far as I could. My heart was breaking like never before. I didn't understand then and I still don't.

Safety violation we don't talk about

There are somethings we think about but don't talk about. Well here is one that needs to be addressed. It involves safety and I love you all to much to keep it in. If I saw a piano falling from the sky about to crush you, you would want me to speak up and so here it goes.

You are never more vulnerable than when you are asleep. When asleep you are at the mercy of who ever comes by. The third most vulnerable time is when you are eating. What is number two, you guessed it going to the bathroom. Yes that is right the second most vulnerable situation for anyone is when you are using the bathroom.

Well why must I bring this up? Your safety. Recently I was in a public bathroom and I noticed the seat was loose. This brought a flood of bad memories rushing in. It was a situation just like that one that put me in an unsafe and rather helpless position.

A few years ago I was in a public bathroom. My guard was down as well as my pants. Feeling safe an confident I shift my weight to make my self more comfortable and then it happened. The unsecured toilet seat shifted to one side and I was de throned. As I attempted to get up I realize I am now pinned between the toilet and the stall wall. What to do...call for help? Assess situation...fat guy with pants around his ankles trapped under toilet, calling for help is out. My cell!?....well it is on the other side of the toilet where it landed when I fell. Well Ill just wait till someone comes in ...ummmm it was late and the store was only minutes from closing, I could be here all night as it appears no one cleans in here anyway.

As I lay there going over my options I began to laugh as I am prone to do. This weakens me even more. I finally discovered that if I straighten out I could possible finish sliding under the stall wall and then to freedom. As I was doing my best impression of a fat rat squeezing under a door, the bathroom door opened, a man looked down then turned and left. I am now on my stomach, pants down, halfway under a bathroom stall, butt shining. Yeah...laughing and to tired to get up. As I freed myself I thought...Surly I'm not the first one!?

This could happen to you, please check the seat before you sit. Report all unsecured seats. Be careful out there. This experience would have killed a lesser man.

Luv Ya Mean It

Failure to thrive

Failure to thrive is a condition where a child, adult, animal etc. fails to develop at a normal rate. Causes can be genetic or environment. These developmental failures can be seen physically , emotionally and psychologically. The affected subject is often irritable, confused and fussy. Many times they are paranoid and tend to separate themselves from others. Many never make it to maturity.

Spiritual failure to thrive is ever worse. The condition works the same but on a spiritual level. Many of those affected can and will quote line and verse but usually never in context. They tend to not involve themselves in activities that they "don't agree with" but can never be found involved in the things they do agree with. They tend to be very vocal and want to empress these same ideals on those around them, that's where the genetic or environment infection comes in.

What is it that goes so wrong inside us that we fail to let our spirit thrive. What is the trigger point that will allow an otherwise awesome servant of God to grab on to a hand full of hate and anger and ride it out to the end? One big difference between physical and spiritual failure to thrive, you can be healed and made whole from the spiritual one. It just a matter of forgiveness, repentance and a complete surrender to God. To bad some of us won't make it.

Master or slave

You know I've done allot of different jobs. In some I was the boss, some I was in the middle and some I was just one of the worker bees. There are good things to be said of all these levels. In our lives here in our Earth Bound lay over, you want to go with the boss thing. It pays more and has perks. What if I could prove to you that is not all that? Would you be leave me? Would you change your out look? Would you change your life?

Growing upargent large, not so rich family, I never gave much thought to why we did things the way we did. If some one was sick we helped care for them. Financial troubles, everyone chipped in. Lost a home and possessions to fire or what ever, arrangements were made. No one had anything but every one had everything. One of Sophmores posted a line from every one's favorite president, Ronald Reagan , " We cant help everyone but everyone can help someone." I've been living on different versions of this my whole life. Watching my parents I never thought about it, it was just what you did. If you were to show up at my parents home you would be fed something. I don't know what but something. You would sit at the table and talk with my father while my little bun waring Pentecostal mother buzzed around taking care of your needs. She is a servant.

You know it says in Mark 42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

”Wow, my lord and savior a servant. This all came about because James and John ask to sit at the right and left hand of Christ in heaven. So the most prized position in heaven is reserved for a servant or slave. This world is not where we belong. It is just a layover, a waiting room. So why do we, why do I continue to focus on the expectations of this world? We,I, should being working towards that prized seat next to Christ. Know do I think I, Paul Frazier will be sitting at the right or left hand of my lord. I don't have to. I just have to complete the work he has set for me, follow his example of love and kindness. Give him the glory and be his servant. Be a slave to his word. I have his promise that if I do as he has done and go and work as he has instructed, I will make to the table. After that, we will just let the seating work it self out.

Know your place !!!

I don't know my place. Do you know yours? I once knew my place, it was where ever the party was. Where ever rules are broken and lines are crossed, that was me. I had some strange sense of purpose there. My purpose was, wait for it, the example of lack of purpose. I know what your thinking," Paul must be where the party is right now", no I'm ok. When I was the shallow guy with no real purpose I didn't have to worry about disappointing folks or hurting their feelings or being a bad example. That was what was expected of me. Any small good thing I did seemed awesome because I mostly did bad. Like George Costanza, I was the bad boy friend, the bad employee, the bad friend, the bad citizen, the bad choice, the bad example, the bad son, he bad brother, the bad...fill in the blank. I knew my place, and as sick as it was, I found comfort in that. Now not so much, I have no idea where my place is now or where it will be tomorrow, but in that uncertainty I have found comfort. I don't have to know my place as long as I'm making a place for God in the place I'm in. What ever he sends my way, big or small, that's going to be my place. As for worrying about being the bad...fill in the blank, I guess the best way to get over that is to stay on the course he sets for me. If I do that then I can't be any of those things, no matter what other people may think. Wow I guess I know my place after all, in his service surrounded by his grace. Hey, how about making this your place to? There is plenty of room.

Are we friends?

What would happen if the last time we saw each other was just that, THE LAST TIME. What did we talk about, was it meaningful or at least memorable? Did we laugh, cry? Did we solve the worlds problems or at least a problem of a friend? Was I mean to you or short? Did I hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable? Do we have unfinished business? If you had to think of friends to call in a time of need, would I make the list? When you see me coming does it make you happy, sad or do you just want to hide until I'm gone? Is our relationship an asset to a liability? Why am I asking you all these questions? Do I really want to hear the answers?
Recently, in the past six months, I've lost friends that I'll never see again. I've made friends that I hope to keep forever, and I've cried for, prayed for and stayed awake nights thinking about friends that are hurting in someway. I know my short comings, I'm right there in your space. I have allot to say, but not nessisarily the right things. I tend to step on toes in some cases if I feel strongly about the subject. With all this said, know that when I call you friend it is not something I take lightly. I accept it with all the things the meaning of friend implies. I'm not one to hide my emotions, I'll trough a hug on you in a minute. I will also speak to you like we have already met even if we havn't, in my mind I have already made you a friend.
Am I a nut, more than likely. One day we will have our last talk, share a last laugh, I'll tell one last unbelievable story and yes I'll give you one last hug. Regardless of which one of us is still here know this, Paul Frazier loves you and called you friend and this means more to Paul Frazier than Silver or Gold. Please enjoy the hugs, the love and the friendship. Take advantage of it if you will. I don't mind. When all is said and done the one thing I'd want to be remembered as is a FRIEND.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance."
-Proverbs 27:17

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."
- Proverbs 27:19

""A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure."
- Sirach 6:14

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"- Proverbs 17:17

"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."
- Proverbs 24:26

"The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them."
- John 15:13

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

7 Days

I firmly believe that if every Christian man woman and child were to take 7 days each year and commit to using all of their resources, talents and time to answer the call that God puts in our hearts we could change the direction of this world FOREVER. 7 days of pooling funds and blowing past the red tape. 7 days of making needs known and finding the solution. 7 days of sharing and support. 7 days of getting people back on their feet. 7 days of LOVE. 7 days of worship and praise. 7 days of standing in the gap for others. 7 days!

A group of 45k +/- college kids just spent 4 days and managed the knock a hung dent in child trafficking. 4 days, just kids, most with little to no money. 4 days, just faith love and desire to live for Christ with total abandon. 4days of letting God be God through them. 4 days of him showing up BIG.

What could happen if we all gave it 7 days? Can you just imagine? If we only had the faith to follow their lead.