Not so helpless anymore

I know i have not posted anything in a few days. Its not that i don't have any more to say, I just don't know how to say it. Ive been home for almost two weeks now but i haven't arrived yet. People ask me how was my trip and I'm vague. They ask me how i am and i say fine. Well that's just not true, i haven't been fine since i crossed the threshold of The orphanage. I won't be home until the will of God is done. I know im not alone. My friends who were with me are in the same limbo as i.

I have figured out something though. I, who professes faith, have been unfaithful. During this whole thing i have said God's will be done but, i have also doubted the ability of those he has chosen to work out his will. As i sat and calculated how many ways we could not get these off the chart task done, he had already put things in place to make them happen. As I told others of the great works that he had done, i still doubted my abilities. The same abilities he gave me to do his will. So, all my self doubt has been me doubting my Gods ability. Ok...down boy, i know that kinda deep and I'm kinda short.

God put the exact people in the exact place at the exact time to do his will. This trip, of which I have been a member before, was design by him. The things I've learned about working in developing countries with less than ideal equipment, incorrect supplies and outside the box situations was by design. The team members and their vary diverse talents and experiences were by design. Some stayed back so others could go. I myself was not planning to go this year but the Lord changed my plans. Even people I met in airports, stores and other places were by design.

I have no idea of what his plan my be but, i know that the right people are being reached and they are bringing their piece of the puzzle with them. My part may be small, it may be big, i just thank God i have a part. Some say its a calling. I don't know if I believe that  much anymore. God and his son Jesus Christ have called all of us. In most everything I read being a Christian is a verb. We are told to go, show, tell, LOVE. So, the calling is always there and its to all of us. What we have is an answering. Answering the call that he has charged all of us with.

So if you see me looking unsure or doubtful, how about giving me a good taking to or a swift kick in the pants. You decide which it needs to be. God is working and things are happening. I'm ready to see this awesome thing happen. I hope you are to. No more HELPLESS!

Helpless-2

After we returned to the clinic there was no question where our time and efforts would be focused. As we brained stormed and made a rough plan with some very general contingencies, it was very clear we were very overwhelmed. With that said, no one was ready to back down. We knew this was huge and to big for us. We had no idea if anything we were going to do would work or if we had the right material, the right tools. It didn't matter, our minds were set. Early the next morning we set out. Aaron and Alan would tackle the pantry area, the boys would start on a boardwalk and keep the kids occupied and I would work with the hired labor and equipment operators on the plumbing and room clean up. The Lord blessed us with a natural "Jefe" (boss) in Melvin. He is a local who was looking for work. He was very knowledgable and responsible. Without him we would have had a long hard road. The materials we bought for other projects were just what we needed for the repairs. The things we were short would have required a two hour round trip to the next big town to pick up. Thankfully, the Lord blessed us with a new hardware store just on the edge of town that had most of what we needed. We had to use our imagination but that was ok, it worked. We were also blessed by a generous mayor who loaned us 3 toilets from his project. Every thing we touched was provided for and blessed by our God. He softened hearts, guided hands, inspired imaginations, and provided strength. He carried this load when we couldn't. Hot, tired, sore, overwhelmed, emotional and every thing else that we mere mortals are limited by are not even considerations to our Lord. Edgy is the word I would use to describe us as our work progressed. As the time ticked away and the work dragged on all we saw was the faces of those kids watching us work. Failure was not an option. The weight of that was unbelievable. This was the most urgent, important work with the most unforgiving deadline that I have ever done. The health and welfare of these children was squarely on our shoulders and we felt every once of it. I haven't come across many things that I wasn't confident that I could do, but this was one. Though we had no idea of the out-coming,  God did. He put together the right team with the right knowhow and the right motivation to get it done. I am still asking God why and what should I do. I am still more overwhelmed and unsure than I have ever been. I still don't have any idea of the out-come.

Helpless-1

Have you ever felt helpless? Totally helpless? If so, take that and add on the feeling of being overwhelmed with a little dash of disappointing those who are counting on you. Thats the feeling I had in Limon, Honduras last week. After rolling in with plans, materials and muscle like so many times before, I thought I was ready for what God had to show me. I wasn't. I have been leaving myself open to him, to see what he wanted me to see. To feel what he wanted me to feel. Until I rode into Limon I thought I was doing well. I wasn't. Everything I've been through up till now was to prepare me for this. I wasn't. When I walked into the orphanage with my friends in tow to look over some "minor" repairs we were met by the children. Sweet little Karolina, Manor, Bessie, Oscar, Katia and others. They hugged us and pulled on us, they were happy and wanting to play. I wanted to knock out this inspection so we could kick the ball around and love on these kids, but it would not be. As I made my way through the outside kitchen area and into the big room the smell of mold and mildew knocked me back. The inside kitchen and pantry was full of damp boxes and mold. The land lord was letting the roof fall in. I made my way to the old hotel area where the older girls stayed, the smell was so strong my friend Aaron had the other stay back so not to breath in the rancid air. The land lord had removed the roof and allowed rain to soak every thing. The kids were forced into the lower rooms in the orphanage. Once they were gone he started to renovate the building , but not for them. I made my was to the other rooms in the orphanage building. The boys room, 15 x 15, few windows, housing 12 boys and the mildewed remains of what the were trying to salvage from the hotel. The only toilet was broken and overflowing. The smell of urine and facial material was masked by the mold. Into the girls rooms, two 15 x 15 rooms adjoined that slept 33 kids a the cook. 1 baby boy, Christian, maybe 9 months old. The smaller kids were two to a bed. Mold was everywhere. The toilet was barely working. The outside toilet was broken as well. One of the girls was covered from head to toe with at least three kinds of rash, fungal, allergic hives, and something else. The week before we came 12 kids were taken to the doctor for respiratory issues. I asked where the older kids were, they told me that they had to send them back to their homes and villages because they had no room. I couldn't process that, they were at the orphanage for a reason and it wasn't a good one. Why oh Lord have you put this in my path. I can handle most things but this is to much. With every child I held, hugged and looked at I saw my own child. I wanted to grab them up and run as hard and as far as I could. My heart was breaking like never before. I didn't understand then and I still don't.

Safety violation we don't talk about

There are somethings we think about but don't talk about. Well here is one that needs to be addressed. It involves safety and I love you all to much to keep it in. If I saw a piano falling from the sky about to crush you, you would want me to speak up and so here it goes.

You are never more vulnerable than when you are asleep. When asleep you are at the mercy of who ever comes by. The third most vulnerable time is when you are eating. What is number two, you guessed it going to the bathroom. Yes that is right the second most vulnerable situation for anyone is when you are using the bathroom.

Well why must I bring this up? Your safety. Recently I was in a public bathroom and I noticed the seat was loose. This brought a flood of bad memories rushing in. It was a situation just like that one that put me in an unsafe and rather helpless position.

A few years ago I was in a public bathroom. My guard was down as well as my pants. Feeling safe an confident I shift my weight to make my self more comfortable and then it happened. The unsecured toilet seat shifted to one side and I was de throned. As I attempted to get up I realize I am now pinned between the toilet and the stall wall. What to do...call for help? Assess situation...fat guy with pants around his ankles trapped under toilet, calling for help is out. My cell!?....well it is on the other side of the toilet where it landed when I fell. Well Ill just wait till someone comes in ...ummmm it was late and the store was only minutes from closing, I could be here all night as it appears no one cleans in here anyway.

As I lay there going over my options I began to laugh as I am prone to do. This weakens me even more. I finally discovered that if I straighten out I could possible finish sliding under the stall wall and then to freedom. As I was doing my best impression of a fat rat squeezing under a door, the bathroom door opened, a man looked down then turned and left. I am now on my stomach, pants down, halfway under a bathroom stall, butt shining. Yeah...laughing and to tired to get up. As I freed myself I thought...Surly I'm not the first one!?

This could happen to you, please check the seat before you sit. Report all unsecured seats. Be careful out there. This experience would have killed a lesser man.

Luv Ya Mean It

Failure to thrive

Failure to thrive is a condition where a child, adult, animal etc. fails to develop at a normal rate. Causes can be genetic or environment. These developmental failures can be seen physically , emotionally and psychologically. The affected subject is often irritable, confused and fussy. Many times they are paranoid and tend to separate themselves from others. Many never make it to maturity.

Spiritual failure to thrive is ever worse. The condition works the same but on a spiritual level. Many of those affected can and will quote line and verse but usually never in context. They tend to not involve themselves in activities that they "don't agree with" but can never be found involved in the things they do agree with. They tend to be very vocal and want to empress these same ideals on those around them, that's where the genetic or environment infection comes in.

What is it that goes so wrong inside us that we fail to let our spirit thrive. What is the trigger point that will allow an otherwise awesome servant of God to grab on to a hand full of hate and anger and ride it out to the end? One big difference between physical and spiritual failure to thrive, you can be healed and made whole from the spiritual one. It just a matter of forgiveness, repentance and a complete surrender to God. To bad some of us won't make it.

Master or slave

You know I've done allot of different jobs. In some I was the boss, some I was in the middle and some I was just one of the worker bees. There are good things to be said of all these levels. In our lives here in our Earth Bound lay over, you want to go with the boss thing. It pays more and has perks. What if I could prove to you that is not all that? Would you be leave me? Would you change your out look? Would you change your life?

Growing upargent large, not so rich family, I never gave much thought to why we did things the way we did. If some one was sick we helped care for them. Financial troubles, everyone chipped in. Lost a home and possessions to fire or what ever, arrangements were made. No one had anything but every one had everything. One of Sophmores posted a line from every one's favorite president, Ronald Reagan , " We cant help everyone but everyone can help someone." I've been living on different versions of this my whole life. Watching my parents I never thought about it, it was just what you did. If you were to show up at my parents home you would be fed something. I don't know what but something. You would sit at the table and talk with my father while my little bun waring Pentecostal mother buzzed around taking care of your needs. She is a servant.

You know it says in Mark 42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

”Wow, my lord and savior a servant. This all came about because James and John ask to sit at the right and left hand of Christ in heaven. So the most prized position in heaven is reserved for a servant or slave. This world is not where we belong. It is just a layover, a waiting room. So why do we, why do I continue to focus on the expectations of this world? We,I, should being working towards that prized seat next to Christ. Know do I think I, Paul Frazier will be sitting at the right or left hand of my lord. I don't have to. I just have to complete the work he has set for me, follow his example of love and kindness. Give him the glory and be his servant. Be a slave to his word. I have his promise that if I do as he has done and go and work as he has instructed, I will make to the table. After that, we will just let the seating work it self out.

Know your place !!!

I don't know my place. Do you know yours? I once knew my place, it was where ever the party was. Where ever rules are broken and lines are crossed, that was me. I had some strange sense of purpose there. My purpose was, wait for it, the example of lack of purpose. I know what your thinking," Paul must be where the party is right now", no I'm ok. When I was the shallow guy with no real purpose I didn't have to worry about disappointing folks or hurting their feelings or being a bad example. That was what was expected of me. Any small good thing I did seemed awesome because I mostly did bad. Like George Costanza, I was the bad boy friend, the bad employee, the bad friend, the bad citizen, the bad choice, the bad example, the bad son, he bad brother, the bad...fill in the blank. I knew my place, and as sick as it was, I found comfort in that. Now not so much, I have no idea where my place is now or where it will be tomorrow, but in that uncertainty I have found comfort. I don't have to know my place as long as I'm making a place for God in the place I'm in. What ever he sends my way, big or small, that's going to be my place. As for worrying about being the bad...fill in the blank, I guess the best way to get over that is to stay on the course he sets for me. If I do that then I can't be any of those things, no matter what other people may think. Wow I guess I know my place after all, in his service surrounded by his grace. Hey, how about making this your place to? There is plenty of room.

Are we friends?

What would happen if the last time we saw each other was just that, THE LAST TIME. What did we talk about, was it meaningful or at least memorable? Did we laugh, cry? Did we solve the worlds problems or at least a problem of a friend? Was I mean to you or short? Did I hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable? Do we have unfinished business? If you had to think of friends to call in a time of need, would I make the list? When you see me coming does it make you happy, sad or do you just want to hide until I'm gone? Is our relationship an asset to a liability? Why am I asking you all these questions? Do I really want to hear the answers?
Recently, in the past six months, I've lost friends that I'll never see again. I've made friends that I hope to keep forever, and I've cried for, prayed for and stayed awake nights thinking about friends that are hurting in someway. I know my short comings, I'm right there in your space. I have allot to say, but not nessisarily the right things. I tend to step on toes in some cases if I feel strongly about the subject. With all this said, know that when I call you friend it is not something I take lightly. I accept it with all the things the meaning of friend implies. I'm not one to hide my emotions, I'll trough a hug on you in a minute. I will also speak to you like we have already met even if we havn't, in my mind I have already made you a friend.
Am I a nut, more than likely. One day we will have our last talk, share a last laugh, I'll tell one last unbelievable story and yes I'll give you one last hug. Regardless of which one of us is still here know this, Paul Frazier loves you and called you friend and this means more to Paul Frazier than Silver or Gold. Please enjoy the hugs, the love and the friendship. Take advantage of it if you will. I don't mind. When all is said and done the one thing I'd want to be remembered as is a FRIEND.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance."
-Proverbs 27:17

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."
- Proverbs 27:19

""A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure."
- Sirach 6:14

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"- Proverbs 17:17

"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."
- Proverbs 24:26

"The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them."
- John 15:13

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

7 Days

I firmly believe that if every Christian man woman and child were to take 7 days each year and commit to using all of their resources, talents and time to answer the call that God puts in our hearts we could change the direction of this world FOREVER. 7 days of pooling funds and blowing past the red tape. 7 days of making needs known and finding the solution. 7 days of sharing and support. 7 days of getting people back on their feet. 7 days of LOVE. 7 days of worship and praise. 7 days of standing in the gap for others. 7 days!

A group of 45k +/- college kids just spent 4 days and managed the knock a hung dent in child trafficking. 4 days, just kids, most with little to no money. 4 days, just faith love and desire to live for Christ with total abandon. 4days of letting God be God through them. 4 days of him showing up BIG.

What could happen if we all gave it 7 days? Can you just imagine? If we only had the faith to follow their lead.

Once upon a time I could fly

Did you know at one time I could fly? Not in a plane but streight up superman style. Yep there was a time everything from towels to bed sheets were capes and when ran fast enough and jumped off something high enough I, Paul Frazier, could fly. It was the greatest time of my life. The possibilities were endless. Then one day a well meaning person took time out of their busy day to explain the whole gravity thing and right there my ability to fly died. I think of my old superpowers sometimes when I hear well meaning people help kids out of their superpowers. I've even been that well meaning person myself. You know the most awesome things happen when young people with superpowers make them happen. Look at Jonathan, he was just hanging out with bud (weapons barrier) and said " let's roll over there and see what those dudes are doing". Next thing you know they won the war of Israel. David , taking lunch to his bros. and end up busting that big dude in the head. These guys made it happen when all the over informed, well meaning folks were explaining why it couldn't or shouldn't be done. Everything is possible until we place our fears and insecurities on those who are blessed to not be burdened with them yet. I suggest that instead of us killing the awesome powers that our youth have that we just guide them to use them full force for the glory of God, in who nothing is impossible. If they keep their eyes on him they have nothing to fear and we, as hard as it is, have nothing to fear for them. Even Peter had the awesome power of walking on water until he took his eyes off Christ. So let them fly, and if you want to go out on faith yourself, fly with them:-)

Washington DC...The new Sin City

Las Vegas, Sin City, a name they are proud of. They play to your every desire, your every dark desire. Any and every desire of the mind and body.they have it all. Gambling, Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Greed you name it they got it. Keep in mind that they are making every effort to accomplish this. They have laws that are designed to protect this and they have government officials who are voted in based on their promise to make it bigger and better. I know this is old news but did you know that there is another city that has them beat hands down? Yep, there is a town that not only has the big 7 covered, they have the top 10 taken care of as well! Where you ask, well it's our own nations capital Washington DC.

What!!! Paul, your nuts! Am I? Look at the Big 7;

Pride, Greed, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth and Anger. Bill Clinton and at least 15 others have been hauled out on public display for multiple counts of these.

Well what about the Top 10?

Thou shalt have no Gods before me, Thou shalt make no carved images, Thou shalt not take the Lords name in vain, Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy, Honor your father and mother, Don't murder, Commit Adultery,or Steal, Don't bare false witness or covet your neighbors wife or his possessions.

Well looks like they have covered them all. I'm no sign reader and sometimes things really are what they appear to be. But you have to wonder, God drop the bomb on Sodom and Gomorrah cause they didn't get back on the straight and narrow, who's to say he didn't shake DC as a little warning to the cats that are ripping him out of the very fiber of the country that was built on him.

I'm just saying

The empty cup

How's your cup? Is it full? Empty? Are you a half full kinda guy or one of those half empty types? What are you doing with your cup? Do you keep it all for your self or do you use to help fill somebody else's cup? I was talking to a very dear friend of mine, one of those great people God has placed in my life (BMB), and we agreed that you should always use your cup to help fill others. We also agreed that if your cup is always pouring you can't get it refilled. Think about it, you have a cup, turn it upside down and then try to pour water into it. It kinda bounces off the bottom and on to the floor. That's exactly what happens to us when we serve and serve but don't take time to be served. Our God wants us to use the cup he gives us to pour out for others. He also wants us to take the time to go back to the well and refill our own cup. Without refilling our cup we become, as my fiend put, dry bones. We will eventually come to a point that we can no longer fill the cup of others and ours is dry and cracked and unable to hold the living water that we need. When this happens you'll have some who need their cup filled and they will go elsewhere to find a new source. You will also have those who have always kept their cup full but never used it. They will say I told you so and try to get rid of the old dry cracked cup. They will even offer up a little bit of their water, but beware. These cups have been hold still water. Water that has not be continually refreshed and like all standing water it is stagnate. If you are having your cup filled by someone, thank them and love them for it. Make sure they are getting their cup filled. Keep them going so they can keep you going. Be careful who fills your cup. It only takes a few drop of stagnant water to contaminate your whole cup. So, fill your cup with living water, share it with others and protect your source.

Help wanted!!!

There is an open position to work for a powerful well know that has unbelievable benefits. Just imagine you can work for a bigger name than Bill Gates , more famous than Donald Trump. This position my require travel and will definitely make you be an active person around town. You will work closely with others but you will receive your instruction straight from the boss so no middle man to go through. As you can imagine such a job does have it's rough spots. Some will ridicule you. Some will stand in your way. Many will try to get you to quit or to get you to do things your on way or their way instead of following the bosses instructions. If you push on and work hard you will be greatly rewarded. So are you ready to submit your resume? No need, your already hired! That's right, you can start now as the hands and feet of Christ! You can start now, today and change someones life as well as your on. Congratulations! Now get out there and show them what your made of:-)

Rules for husbands to live by #5

This one is from me. The most valuable and important thing that God blesses a man with, other than a relationship with him, is your relationship with your spouse. It should be protected at all cost and prized more than gold. Your parents raise you and then they are gone. Your brothers and sisters grow up with you and then they move on with their families. Your children, you raise them and then they move on with their lives. Only God and you spouse commit to a life time relationship. Cultivate, nurture and protect these two and all others will prosper.

Rules for husbands to live by #4

Keep the relationship growing in unity and understanding. Ephesians 4:2-3, TLB. "Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Be led together by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with one another."

Rules for husbands to live by #3

settle misunderstanding fast! Ephesians 4:26, TLB.
"If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry -get over it quickly."

Rules for husbands to live by #2

Husbands should honour their wives. Peter 3:7, TLB.
"You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers."

Rules for husbands to live by #1

How should husbands relate to their wives?Ephesians 5:25-28, TLB.
"And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when He died for her. . . That's how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife!

The way of the worm

Every morning as I walk into work from the I-95 parking lot I pass the fresh green grass the is the front lawn of my company. I usually arrive just after the sprinklers shut off. I've started to notice earth worms, everywhere. I have concluded that the vibration and increased water level from the sprinklers drive them to the surface and then as the ground settles and the water drops they return to the safety and comfort of the green grass. Some, however, don't make it. The ones in the center fair very well. The ones on the edges, not so much. You see, on the edge, when the sprinklers come on and shake up their lives the worms will sometimes go towards the middle and there they are safe other times they end up on the sidewalk and that's not a good place to be when you are a worm. On the sidewalk it gets hot and people are walking on top of you and eventually your lost. Some head bake to the safety of the green grass and they make it. Some just keep going and soon nothing is recognizable. Soon you are on the blacktop and the sun is up. You, the worm, are cooked and it's over.

Day after day I ask myself ,and the worms, how did you end up here where you don't belong? Then it hit me, these aren't worms. These are people. Yes, people. The green grass is the presents of Christ sent by God to keep and protect us. We have a job to do to keep the green grass living and growing. We get shook up from time to time but if we just hold fast and head to the center (Jesus) and stay strong we can work our selves deeper into him and eventually no amount of disturbance can force us out. If we get on the edge, we may catch some heat and even get stepped on a time or two but if we head back to the safety of the green grass we can once again head to the center and reclaim our spot and get back to our purpose of working and growing the green grass (the kingdom of God) and live for eternity in it's comfort. If we find or self on the sidewalk and just continue to press on in vain hoping that we live long enough to so other place to call home we will almost surly perish on the hot black top.

I have found my self stopping and picking up the odd worm and tossing him back to the green grass. After all, he didn't want to be on the hot sidewalk he just got turned around and lost his way. I know I've been there at times and I wished some good hearted person would have picked me up and tossed me back.

I know this story is a little bazaar. I know I'm sometimes a little bit crazy, but, what if you are the worm. If you are the worm today, head as fast as you can back to the center of our green grass (Jesus).If you are the worm today and you find your self on the black top, STOP and find you way back to the green grass. DON'T take time to answer allot of questions like, why am I here or why did this happen to me or should I wait for someone to come get me. The sun is getting hotter and you are about to be cooked. You can get those answers after you are back in the green grass. If you are NOT the worm today and you see one on the sidewalk or the black top, Stop and give them a hand. They would be grateful and blessed as will you. It takes allot of worms to keep our green grass growing and we need all the help we can get.

Love ya worms, thanks for the lesson.

Honduras- Day 2- The Dump in La Ceiba

Thursday and it was time to go to the dump and help with a medical clinic. This was a very powerful experiance. The people at the dump are squaters. They wait for the trash to be covered up and the build a shack on it and that I home. the kids are running every where. Most with no shoes and very little clothes. Most all of the clothes I see are donations from the US. It is strange to see kids running around with old uniforms shirts sponcered by some hardware store in the US. The people here are awsome. Very nice and open. Health care is none exsistant here. Sores in the mouth, worms and skin wounds are every where. It rripped my heart out. Lucky for me I had to leave to buy building supplies for Limon. This is the nearist store. I will have to come back to this because I still have not processed what I've seen.

We went to church with Mario, his churched welcomed us and rewally had a great worship session with some great music and powerful messages. The passion for Christ is huge and right in your face. You don't have to wonder are these people are Christiens, you only have to look.

I hope I look like that.

Later